Could you tell me a time you felt self love?

For what felt like hours of heart racing thoughts of the worst case scenarios I remember this day so vividly. But let’s take you back when it all started. I remember waking up on the morning of January 18th of 2018 and what seemed to be a normal day for everyone else was the first day I started to feel anxious, anxious about life, where I was in life, what I was doing, what I was achieving and where I was going! It soon then developed into anxiety with panic attacks with feelings of being depressed which then triggered the darkest days of my life.

Before then I didn’t take mental health seriously, I almost felt like anyone who used the mental health card was using it as an excuse. But from where I was it was anything but an excuse, it was a cry for help! I decided to go to the doctors because I felt like something was wrong with me. I must have a chemical imbalance or maybe a tumour that was causing me to develop these intense incontrollable emotions and thoughts that usually ended up with me having to go to bed early because my brain and body was exhausted and burnt out. I was a shell of who I was and with the doctors offering to give me some anti depressants I decided that something had to change. I sat there on the floor of my room crying thinking this can’t be my life, how could I have got to twenty two and felt like my life was over?

I remember asking myself how am I going to get through this, what’s it going to take for me to overcome this and in the quiet space of my room something answered back… LOVE! I know it sounds crazy but before I could even get to the end of that question the word LOVE responded in my brain. It felt so bizarre that I shot right up to look of someone was in my room but there was no one there. It was the first time in my life that I felt like something higher was speaking to me and from that day forward my life changed. I decided to make a pact from that day on that I would try my hardest to find love in things and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.

One of the main things I noticed was the lack of love for myself, the words I would tell myself about who I was or what I was capable of. Even recalling memory’s now feels like I am talking about a different person. Some days were easier, some harder and others just felt like I was not making any progress but after slowly taking each day as it came I found myself getting more and more lifted out this black cloud and more enlightened into how I was meant to live my life. It took me on a discovery to find my spirituality, my creativity, my confidence and what I know call my spiciness! It encouraged me to get out my comfort zone to learn and grow into areas of my life that I thought at one point were non existent it taught me how precious life was and how much it had to offer.

Looking back now at being that twenty two year old guy who thought of just taking his life makes me feel so sad because I know there are some people that don’t make it and it happens every day in this world. I know there will be some of you reading this who can’t relate or might feel shocked that I had these thoughts but I know some of you out there understand and can relate to this and I feel you.

In my journey of becoming a life coach it’s really taught me that all the knowledge and life experience I have had it’s exactly why today I am now a life coach. No matter where you are in life have the power, the power to be something and I want to help you discover what makes your heart sing, what makes you come alive, what makes you want to feel like you are the baddest spicy dish on the planet, because you deserve it all. I am not someone who has just read a few book and ticked some exam boxes, god if that’s what it took just to make a good life coach then that would be shit scary. I have experienced the dark moments of life but I have also experienced what’s it’s like to stand in my full power and feel like life is full of colour, joy, connection and love and I want you to experince all of that because you can.