Could you tell me a time where your life took an completely unexpected turn?

Like many people during the global pandemic, I seriously started considering my "career". At the time I was on furlough from my job as a Visual Merchandiser with high street retailer H&M, I had time on my hands and knew I wanted to do something with a little more meaning. After some deliberation I decided to apply to be a Firefighter with the Scottish Fire and Rescue service. I didn't receive any sort of response for over a year, this was followed by an extremely lengthy application process but in January 2023 I was proud to be starting my journey as a trainee with the SFRS.

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out as expected. Just a few weeks into training I was removed from the course due to an ongoing injury, the in-house physio at the training centre was worried about my injury turning into a stress fracture so I was signed out of training for a couple of weeks. This is where things really took a turn.

It had been a completely normal day, I'd been out for a coffee in the morning with some friends, had a walk with my wife and cooked dinner. Halfway through whatever film we were watching I got up to go to the kitchen and noticed I was struggling to balance, things were spinning a little and I felt lightheaded. I dismissed it, I thought I'd most likely stood up too quickly. Unfortunately, a few hours later the sensation was still there and I was beginning to also feel it at rest. I contacted the NHS 24 hotline and was advised to wait until the morning and see my local GP. I woke up at 4 am and things had gotten worse, the room was spinning to the point I couldn't make out my hand in front of my face, I couldn't walk and I was extremely nauseous. So after a ropey taxi ride, I found myself sitting in and out of our GP’s office at the hospital where I was told there was a chance I’d had a small stroke. Several tests and 9 hours later I was informed this was not the case, and that in fact, I had an inner ear infection which was wreaking havoc with the balance centre in my brain.

I felt relief like I'd never felt before! and a few days later I was back home and able to head outside for the first time, I took a short walk to our local shop where I essentially used my wife as a human crutch (thank you Lanah), it was tough but things were definitely on the mend. I discussed my condition with the fire service and it was agreed I could return to training in May, a lot longer than the initial 2 weeks I’d expected to be off, but given the nature of my balance, precautions were taken to ensure it was safe for me to return to training.

As it turns out healing isn't linear and over the next few months this cycle of being struck by crippling vertigo, followed by a short spell of recovery only to be hit with vertigo again continued. There were full days where I couldn't stand, I had issues with my vision, experienced partial hearing loss and spent large portions of my time crawling between the rooms of our flat. It was hell. I have always been a bit of an anxious person, a bit of an overthinker, someone who gets stressed when they travel, but I'd never experienced anything like this. It became apparent I would be unable to pass the medical assessment required to return to the fire service and I hit an all-time low. I felt completely lost, upset and frustrated with my physical and mental capabilities. It sounds fairly silly considering everything else that was going on with my job and day-to-day life but I am a keen runner and the thought I might never return to the sport haunted me. I was unable to get any sort of diagnosis as to why these symptoms were recurring and my mental health rapidly deteriorated. I spent several days in tears, nothing was working, until it did. After months of trial and error, the GP’s and specialists found a combination of medicines that worked for me, and I was finally able to get the vertigo under control.

Cut to the present day, there are moments where I experience the vertigo again, but these are short lived and so far none have lived up to the brutal nature of the attacks I experienced last year. My mental health is on the mend and slowly, I was able to return to running. In May, myself and a close friend, Lizzie, ran the London marathon and raised over £6.5k for the mental health charity the Samaritans. I also have a new job! I'm Currently living that Monday to Friday, 9-5 office life. I didn't expect to be here and I've had to make peace with the fact that I'm in no mental state to return to the SFRS, but that’s ok, life is good.